As working mothers, nothing ever remains static. No matter how many children you have or their ages, you can never truly know how life will unfold on a day-to-day basis. The ebb and flow of working motherhood requires that you have a strong inner ability to withstand the many unexpected curveballs you will face.In this article, I offer five ways you can learn to flow in the groove of change, no matter what it is or when it strikes.1.
Know yourself.Knowing yourself is more than being able to tell someone your name, where you're from, what kind of work you do and how many kids you have. I'm talking about deeply knowing yourself in a very real and spiritual way, so that when you are challenged by the changes in your life, you aren't broken.
You're clear about who you are and where your heart is.This doesn't mean you're rigid and closed to ideas outside of your own, which leads me to the next idea.2.
Be willing.In my book, 'The Integrated Mother,' I discuss the difference between willing and wanting. You may not want to have things change in your life, yet you must at least be willing. The example I use in the book is pregnancy (something we can all relate to!).
You probably didn't want to experience the pains of childbirth, but you were certainly willing, right? In change you must be willing to try on new ideas, new experiences and new ways of working. Otherwise, you'll end up constantly pushing against the grain of your life. Life changes! You're either willing to go with it, or you're stuck fighting a hopeless battle.
3. Try an "unemotional"planning approach.I'm a bit of a type-A personality, so I tend to find security in planning. With motherhood, I've learned to loosen the grip on this because I began to realize that life isn't linear. It doesn't progress in a straight line that allows you to follow a predictable path from point A to point B.
In reality, life is pretty darn messy!.If you're a fanatic about planning (like me), then you can still map things out and even plan for contingencies. However, it's important to have a healthy interest in the future, just don't get emotionally wrapped up in the final outcome.
Chances are you're not a skilled clairvoyant so there's no use getting caught up in a future that can change.4. Increase your awareness.
If you've ever hung around me you might have heard me complain that people tend to "live their life with blinders on." Basically, I'm lamenting about how most people, especially working moms, get so caught up in the busyness of their life they fall asleep on a subconscious level. So when the proverbial "writing is on the wall" they ignore all the signs. It reminds me of a scene from 'Bruce Almighty' when Jim Carrey's character ignores all the bright, blinking signs God was giving him to prevent him from running his car off the road.
Instead of viewing your life with the "everything is peachy" point of view, take time to see the truth because it just may be the difference between a disastrous change or a really positive one.5. Change!.There comes a point where you've got to just make the leap and have faith that you'll be okay.
I'm not going to pretend ? change is scary because you can't really be certain if things will turn out the way you expect. Just remember, you can't always control the result, but you can always control your response to it.Regardless of the final outcome of the change, look at it as a learning and growth experience. With every change you strengthened. As a result, future challenges in life are easier to manage.
Change is a good thing. Flow with it and start groovin'!.
.2006 The Integrated Mother and Michele R. Dortch.
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By: Michele Dortch